Stories
Loss to suicide
For those who have lost someone they love to suicide.
Finding meaning
AnonymousSeptember 2026
The passing of my daughter has been the most painful journey yet. It is inconceivable to think a parent would outlive their child. To witness both their first days and their last. Truly, the type of pain you don't wish on anyone. Yet, you're living in it, in this place they call grief. And this is where you live, for the rest of your days. I found the best way to do this, is to accept where I am, and I have. You don't get cured from something like this, you just really need to learn how to live with it. And when you have kids who are experiencing the loss of a sibling and you are the example they are watching - it can be very overwhelming. You understand that nobody really understands what you are going through. So the loneliness coupled with the grief is just an extra piece of luggage on your cart. But what has given me hope, is what I have learnt in this short time. Which is although, my daughter has passed on, she is still very much with me. I never thought myself 'spiritual' before, but in truth - this has been what has helped me heal. The understanding that our souls are separate to our bodies, and that like all energy, it can never not exist. I have found my daughter in all these moments where you feel like it's just 'too much of a coincidence'. Her number, her song, my dreams, finding things of hers randomly and just knowing that she IS still here. Not how we wish they were, but in a different form. Grief is heavy but that love just changes. I'm learning that I can share that love in so many different ways now. Doing and experiencing things she loved has been very healing but probably the most healing has been sharing that love with people in need. Finding purpose has helped me transform my loss, into something meaningful.Every single day, I light a candle for my daughter. It reminds me she is still here. Just in a different form.How I honour them
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AnonymousJune 2026
I lost my partner to suicide two years ago and I'm still not always able to say that out loud. The hardest part hasn't been the missing him, even though that's constant. It's the why. The endless reconstructing of the last weeks, the conversations, the things I said and didn't say. The never ending loop. For a long time it felt like a puzzle I needed to solve. And it felt like I could solve it, if I just thought hard enough. But it isn’t. They (my therapist) tried to tell me that in the beginning and it took a really long time for it to register. I’m going to tell you now: you will probably never have the answer, and surviving this means slowly, painfully learning to live alongside the not-knowing why. And to let it be and let it go. You love them and they loved you. And the only thing I feel like carrying is that love. Truly, what helped was a support group specifically for suicide loss. I needed to find people who really understood my pain. Being in a room where I didn't have to explain or soften everything. My friends and family do try but it’s very hard to relate unless you have been through that particular thing yourself. Suicide loss is something else. It’s just extremely heavy. If you are in the same grief boat as me, please be careful with the ‘why’. And also, please share your heaviness with people or someone who understands. You don't have to carry this alone, that it is not just you experiencing the type of loss. Share your story and take comfort in other peoples stories.I sleep in his t-shirts, it gives me so much comfort and I still my ring.How I honour them
If sharing or reading these stories raises something difficult, support is here. You can reach SADAG on 0800 567 567.