Stories
Pregnancy & infant loss
For miscarriage, stillbirth, and the loss of a baby in the earliest days.
Miscarriage is hard
AnonymousAugust 2026
I miscarried my first pregnancy at eleven weeks. I struggled with whether I was "allowed" to grieve as much as I did because I never got the chance to hold my baby. There were no photographs apart from an ultrasound and it wasn't like I had years of memories. But I think that's why it's so hard because I won't ever have them. I had imagined so much already. I had worked out when I would go on maternity leave. I had stood in our spare room wondering where the cot would go. My husband and I had started talking about names. Then suddenly all those little imagined things disappeared. The due date was harder than I expected. I took the day off work without telling anyone why. My husband came home with a tiny pot and a packet of wildflower seeds. We planted them together on our balcony. Some grew and some didn't. That felt strangely appropriate, I guess that's what life is like sometimes.I still don't know exactly what I'm supposed to call what happened to us. We have taken a long break before trying again, it's just I don't know if I can handle that disappointment again.Planted wildflower seeds the day our baby was dueHow I honour them
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